Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Cafe Lilu Review. Part 1: Prologue


Three years ago, a friend of mine (Let's just call him Ahmed Smith for the sake of maintaining his anonymity) suggested we go for a bite to eat in Cafe Lilu next to Aali Mall. I hadn't been there before so i agreed to his suggestion. I met him there and was set to get my food on.

Just as I was about to enter, a waiter blocked my way and said "Sir, is that your Toyota Echo?"

"You betcha!" I replied, with slightly more enthusiasm than the car warranted.

"I'm afraid we don't have a table for you"

" … what?"

" You can't eat here."

"what? because of my car?"

"Precisely, it doesn't meet our standards."

"What are your standards!? I mean this bullshit, do you have a list of pre-approved cars?!"

"Yes." And he handed me a list of pre-approved cars. It consisted predominantly of German and Italian cars.

" You mean to tell me I can only eat here if I have one of these cars? That's the ONLY way in?"

"Of cours not sir, that would be silly. We also let you in if you are a woman with a stroller and a child."

"oh…… I see" I stared at the list in disbelief.

"We have a table for *you*, sir." Said the waiter to Ahmed Smith. Ahmed had arrived in a BMW. He looked at me, shrugged, and walked into the restaurant. 

"Sir, could you please leave"

I left dejected. An hour later, Ahmed texted me to tell me the food was great. I always hated that son of a bitch.

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